The past week has been Jackson Pollack of emotions. 

My brother says he hasn't started so many sentences with "As a Jew . . ." since we taught Hannukah every year in elementary school. I don't have as many friends, so I've been saved from being a Jewish mouthpiece, but nothing can protect me from being a human being.

I had to get off Facebook for awhile. That's saying something since their algorithm has got my circadian rhythm pegged. But the faces of lost souls in Israel and in Gaza staring out at me are heartbreaking enough, but the overripe opinions that fall like crab apples from the Facebook Marketplace are too much to bare. 

I am not a geopolitical expert. I grew up an observant Conservative Jew, more observant than the rest of my family, and lived on a kibbutz for a year and a half of my most formative years. I have lost two friends to religious violence. It is impossible to not have bias. But today I am a humanist by nature, and my skepticism of how religion ends up parroting ideas of sanctity over care, has left me searching for my own ideas around regarding a power greater than ourselves.

To write about Israel with the idea that one has all the answers is simply proving you do not. There is nothing simple about what is going on in this war, and to believe it is, is to crush the totality of 5000 years of experience down a single convenient frame, with which you inspect under a religiously-branded telescope. 

Hamas is an evil organization that must be stopped. Targeting innocent people is not war, it is terror. Yes, Hamas pushes to be the voice of the Palestinian people, but they are not. In truth, Hamas's actions put the Palestinian people directly in harms way, and therefore it is dangerous to conflate the two -- as well as it plays into Hamas' propaganda. 

At the same time. They are not completely independent. Which is to say if Israel didn't hold 2 million people in an  tiny open air prison, there would be no empowered Hamas. Having a Jewish Prime Minister who has been casually cruel to the blight of the Palestinian people has not helped calm tensions in the region (as Bibi hubristically suspected). One can speak to the lack of humanity Israel has for Palestinians and still be crushed and speak out against the cruelty of Hamas. To point out suffering is not endorsing terrorism, it is contextualizing it. It is all human suffering. Put more clearly, it is consistent to be both against Israeli occupation and Hamas' terrorism. It is putting innocent human life first. 

When they report the innocent Israeli and Palestinian deaths separately each night on the news, it hurts. To see the innocent lives lost being weighed on a scale of social identity, I can't help but think we are missing the point. Distinguishing whose dead are whose is just a springboard to revenge and further dehumanization of the other. I'm not sure what the solution is, but amplifying outgroup hate isn't the way.

The innocent didn't ask for this war. The people, don't start these wars. Politicians and policies start war. Any American who went abroad during the George W. Bush Gulf War or during the totality of the Trump presidency has had to explain to foreigners the difference between what America does, and how the American people feel about it. Hell, up until this point Israel has been regularly protesting against its own Prime Minister. Countries are not monolithic; their inhabitants contain multitudes. And yet as countries fight wars, their people pay the price. 

And the people are bleeding. People who just want the peace of mind of being to go to sleep and wake up safe the next morning are flung into a war zone. In Israel and in Gaza. I don't have answers. My heart will continue to sit cracked, sunny side down, and work towards empowering as many innocent and essential  souls we have left. 

Am Yisrael Chai

Free Palestine

A Gift Nonetheless

It’s a gift that our pets get old. 

 

About a month ago our neighbors got a 4-month-old grey and brindle French Bulldog named Millie. She is a love and a joy. It turns out that, in reality, fences with slats missing are actually the ones that create good neighbors, a love affair soon blossomed between our Falcor, 10, and this new bunny-sized fearless gremlin. This began conversations with her human family and arrangements were made whereby we can grab Millie and pull her up over the fence to let her play in our yard (which has more room for running). And they run. Ohhhhh. They run. Millie has youth but gives up about 55 lbs of length and weight. 

 

"Hi, I'm Millie"

Falcor, has always been a younger brother a of dog. He is both chronologically the younger brother, with Grover, 12, ever having a chill old man personality, being his senior. But, he also acts the part. He nudges. He still has that boundless energy where you have to scold him to get him to stop giving you kisses on the face. This “older dog” role is new for him, and it’s incredible watching him grow into it. When Millie cuddles in my arms, Falcor goes right up to her and gives her tiny little love nibbles, while she squirms happily on her back. He is so gentle with her, not catching her when he chases her, even though over time he has let it slip that he can. Millie exploits her youth. While Falcor has the edge for the first 20 minutes, he has a finite about of steam. Millie still runs like she’s got a Tesla engine inside her. This results in Falcor flipping on his back and just letting her attack him. She is happy to oblige. With the size difference she loves using our lawn chair and dog bed, or anything off the ground, to propel her at Falc from above. She landed on his back and neck twice just today. It’s impressive.  Millie’s youth is palpable and when you squeeze her, the idea of anything bad ever happening to her is unfathomable. She is immune to time. She is beyond it, and will be for a long time.

Growth & Loss

Often loss and growth happen simultaneously, but it never feels that way when they're happening.
The failures, which become our stepping stones are only geographical, and geological, in hindsight.
While my teaching career has grown, it has taken an unmistakable toll on my writing.
My words languish.
Fairness has no place in loss, only in letting go,
and the hardest things to lose are those that can't be seen.
So you carry their burden alone. Changed and unchanged.
More than one thing at a time.
Loss and growth.

I went to the edge of the water. The Atlantic.
The water curled in, slowly tearing seams in the adjacent craggy mountainside
The darkened lines of erosion looked like teardrops on the opposing rock face.
Wet slashes from a frigid and unsympathetic ocean.
It becomes futile to deny the beauty of the fragile dance of water and stone --
Despite their inevitability.
Growth and loss.

What to do When You Buy Children's Liquid Tylenol

Hello again. The world's on fire and we need a smile so here we go:

If you read my last post, you already know that in a panic-induced shopping incident I inadvertently bought the title product instead of extra-strength tablets. That's my bad. But, since becoming a first time owner of an altogether new, to me, product, I have some suggestions. Marketing suggestions.

At this point, and I'm talking to you liquid pain reliever manufacturers, your target audience is parents and people who are too busy, distracted, or panicked to read a box before purchasing a product. And you are leaning into that "distracted" market by not clearly labelling the box "liquid."  Too simple and clear. Instead, in the upper right hand corner, away from all the other information it says,"oral suspension," which sounds more like a WIPEOUT challenge than a description of liquid.